I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
