so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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