will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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