Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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