love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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