Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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