dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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