Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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