we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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