Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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