Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
