just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize