If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
