We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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