i would punch a child for taco bell
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
