Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
