I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
