I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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