I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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