How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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