This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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