I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize