Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
