im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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