is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
