thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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