what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
