she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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