my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
