Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
