Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
