She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
me + whiskey = a bad person
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
