All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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