she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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