It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
