Moan for me like Helen Keller
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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