I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
