I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
