It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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