She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
