i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
