I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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