Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
