Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
