I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
