that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
