Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
