1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Vodka?
Forever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
