she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
