make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The air was thick with penises
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize