I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
