He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
