is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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