Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
