we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
