dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
