So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
