I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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