I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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