Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
