I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
