I cockslap morals
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
