And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
