it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
