and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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