you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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