whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize